(Pages # 100-157)
After reading the last part of the manuscript, it felt like a journey had ended for him and his family. Throughout the many years they cared for his mother, they never once turned their back on her and always tried to do their best to do anything they could to keep her comfortable. It seems like she went through a lot in her last year(s) of life with all the moving and adjusting. Death comes so slowly but so suddenly, and it's hard to to someone you love pass away like that. It was never unexpected, but you can never prepare yourself for what's going to happen. He made very good points throughout the manuscript and what I learned was most important was that you must be patient and prepared. They always looked out for their mother and whenever something changed, they always had some sort of plan. Her living situations were very well thought out. It's nice to see someone care so deeply for their parent and to keep an eye on them in every living situation. Some get disgruntled with their elderly parents and ignore them and their needs, but these people seemed very caring. I thought the manuscript was a little unorganized, but I understand that life itself isn't that simple to narrate.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Raising A Parent, After Death
(Pages 72-99)
The first part I read was really thoughtful when they decided to split their mother's possessions evenly or donating what they didn't need/want. Most people bicker and argue over the littlest things, and after losing a loved one, it probably would cause more anxiety and anguish within the family. Money and possessions can cause so many issues for no reason. It's better to either split it evenly, or if you can't agree to that, just donate it to those who need it most. The next part discusses his mother and her driving issues. A lot of older people don't want to admit that they aren't capable enough to drive until it's too late. But, they have to realize it's better for them and those around them so that they don't cause anyone harm. Although it might be hard to travel, he had the great idea to hire someone to drive her. Living in a senior community could also help with this issue, as he stated. The decisions they all made for the mother so far were all great and I could see myself taking a lot of advice from this when it comes to be my time. Making the right decisions, whether it be financial or emotional, could make a huge difference to that person.
The first part I read was really thoughtful when they decided to split their mother's possessions evenly or donating what they didn't need/want. Most people bicker and argue over the littlest things, and after losing a loved one, it probably would cause more anxiety and anguish within the family. Money and possessions can cause so many issues for no reason. It's better to either split it evenly, or if you can't agree to that, just donate it to those who need it most. The next part discusses his mother and her driving issues. A lot of older people don't want to admit that they aren't capable enough to drive until it's too late. But, they have to realize it's better for them and those around them so that they don't cause anyone harm. Although it might be hard to travel, he had the great idea to hire someone to drive her. Living in a senior community could also help with this issue, as he stated. The decisions they all made for the mother so far were all great and I could see myself taking a lot of advice from this when it comes to be my time. Making the right decisions, whether it be financial or emotional, could make a huge difference to that person.
Raising A Parent: Adjusting
(Pages # 55-71 )
As time goes on, people learn to adjust better and better. He says that his mother seemed withdrawn from activities when in fact she was in the center of everything and had finally adjusted to life in a senior living community. A lot of people believe that their loved ones will always be miserable in senior living arrangements, but this isn't always the case. Over time, people will get used to their surroundings and make the best of it. No need to worry about how they're doing all the time. Just step back and allow them to live. Another part that I found interesting was when he was talking about his mother's death and how there were many close calls. You have to treat the last months well, and be sure to visit as much as possible. Although it's impossible to know exactly when they will die, there are some indications and it's important to embrace them. The end may be hard, and they might fight with you, but it isn't their fault. You have to stay positive and let them know that you'll always be there no matter what. My parents are aging, and I always have to remember to be more patient and understanding with them because they don't realize they're acting in a negative manner, they're just trying to figure things out on their own, and I want to be supportive.
As time goes on, people learn to adjust better and better. He says that his mother seemed withdrawn from activities when in fact she was in the center of everything and had finally adjusted to life in a senior living community. A lot of people believe that their loved ones will always be miserable in senior living arrangements, but this isn't always the case. Over time, people will get used to their surroundings and make the best of it. No need to worry about how they're doing all the time. Just step back and allow them to live. Another part that I found interesting was when he was talking about his mother's death and how there were many close calls. You have to treat the last months well, and be sure to visit as much as possible. Although it's impossible to know exactly when they will die, there are some indications and it's important to embrace them. The end may be hard, and they might fight with you, but it isn't their fault. You have to stay positive and let them know that you'll always be there no matter what. My parents are aging, and I always have to remember to be more patient and understanding with them because they don't realize they're acting in a negative manner, they're just trying to figure things out on their own, and I want to be supportive.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Raising A Parent, Recommendations
(Pages #15-54)
As I continued to read through the numerous recommendations the author was making in reference to his mother and caring for her, I noticed that he suggested many things that involved being kind and patient. A lot of the things the author recommends, such as being patient and not taking things for granted, seem like sensible ideas and common sense,but many don't follow such recommendations because they are too distraught when their parents become elderly and ill and don't pay as much attention as they should to their parent and their needs. For example, the author's mother in her last years seemed to believe certain things that weren't true, and instead of arguing with her, you have to compromise and try to stress them out as little as possible and just agree with what they are saying. It may be hard for those who are stubborn, but for their health and your sanity, just go along with it. He also mentions when they had to buy a place for his mother to reside in and he felt that he would rather spend his hard earned money on something for them, his wife disagreed. It turned out for the better, and allowed the mother to live without worries. When it comes to housing, it's also important to ask questions about the place and review it thoroughly before allowing a loved one to live there. It may look nice, but sometimes discrepancies can happen, such as when his mother's UTI medication wasn't administered after a transfer because of the staff not being on the same page. It makes me think of what I have to do for my parents when it comes to be their time.
As I continued to read through the numerous recommendations the author was making in reference to his mother and caring for her, I noticed that he suggested many things that involved being kind and patient. A lot of the things the author recommends, such as being patient and not taking things for granted, seem like sensible ideas and common sense,but many don't follow such recommendations because they are too distraught when their parents become elderly and ill and don't pay as much attention as they should to their parent and their needs. For example, the author's mother in her last years seemed to believe certain things that weren't true, and instead of arguing with her, you have to compromise and try to stress them out as little as possible and just agree with what they are saying. It may be hard for those who are stubborn, but for their health and your sanity, just go along with it. He also mentions when they had to buy a place for his mother to reside in and he felt that he would rather spend his hard earned money on something for them, his wife disagreed. It turned out for the better, and allowed the mother to live without worries. When it comes to housing, it's also important to ask questions about the place and review it thoroughly before allowing a loved one to live there. It may look nice, but sometimes discrepancies can happen, such as when his mother's UTI medication wasn't administered after a transfer because of the staff not being on the same page. It makes me think of what I have to do for my parents when it comes to be their time.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Raising A Parent, 1st Reading
(Pages # 1-14)
Just seeing the title of this manuscript made me very interested in what I was about to read. I have a father who is about to be considered elderly, almost at the age of 65. I know that soon I myself will have to look into some options for long term care. I know that it will be a difficult process and studying about the field of health care makes it all the more confusing for me because there are just so many different options. Aging happens to everyone and affects everyone differently, but having someone's view on how they handled their aging parent can be a comfort and can help me make fewer mistakes when it comes to be my time to go down that path. Now back to the manuscript, I enjoyed the introduction to his life as a child and how he was raised and grew up with his mother. It let's me have a better understanding of his mother's personality and how the aging process affected her because of it. As he states, we do owe our parents a lot and nothing we do can ever repay them. They invested so much in us and the least we could do is to take care of them in the last few years of their lives. Chapter 2 had begun a list of his recommendations that described the many difficult aspects of taking care of your parent and the situations that are likely to arise and how to handle them. I will go into how I feel about these recommendations in the next blog entry.
Just seeing the title of this manuscript made me very interested in what I was about to read. I have a father who is about to be considered elderly, almost at the age of 65. I know that soon I myself will have to look into some options for long term care. I know that it will be a difficult process and studying about the field of health care makes it all the more confusing for me because there are just so many different options. Aging happens to everyone and affects everyone differently, but having someone's view on how they handled their aging parent can be a comfort and can help me make fewer mistakes when it comes to be my time to go down that path. Now back to the manuscript, I enjoyed the introduction to his life as a child and how he was raised and grew up with his mother. It let's me have a better understanding of his mother's personality and how the aging process affected her because of it. As he states, we do owe our parents a lot and nothing we do can ever repay them. They invested so much in us and the least we could do is to take care of them in the last few years of their lives. Chapter 2 had begun a list of his recommendations that described the many difficult aspects of taking care of your parent and the situations that are likely to arise and how to handle them. I will go into how I feel about these recommendations in the next blog entry.
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